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I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses. -- William M. Thackeray

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Murphy's Sixth Law: If you perceive that there are four possible ways in which a procedure can go wrong and circumvent these, then a fi...

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Murphy's Ninth Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. -- Murphy's Law

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Murphy's Ninth Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. -- Murphy's Law

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-- Bill Cosby For the love of God, folks, don't do this at home. -- David Letterman

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Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry. -- S. Barry Lipkin

funy quote152c

Travel is educational; it teaches you how to get rid of money in a hurry. -- S. Barry Lipkin

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I don't like driving very much. That makes me very unhappy, because I scream a lot in the car, but other than that, life is actually pr...

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My ultimate vocation in life is to be an irritant. -- Elvis Costello

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Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. -- Marion Barry

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Books serve to show a man that those original thoughts of his aren't very new after all. -- Abraham Lincoln

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You may be a redneck if . . . you have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. -- Jeff Foxworthy

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The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole universe. But the stupid man will just lay down on some seaweed and roll arou...

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Horse sense is a good judgement which keeps horses from betting on people. -- W. C. Fields

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I can resist everything except temptation. -- Oscar Wilde

The vote means nothing to women. We should be armed. -- Edna O'Brien

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Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV. -- Jerry Seinfeld

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I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either. -- Jack Benny

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -- George Burns

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city. -- George Burns