be judged, he was told that he had committed a sin,
and that he could not go to heaven right away. He
asked what he did and God told him that he cheated
on his income taxes, and that the only way he could
get into heaven would be to sleep with a 500 pound,
stupid, butt-ugly woman for the next five years and
enjoy it. Tony decided that this was a small price to
pay for an eternity in heaven. So off he went with this
enormous woman, pretending to be happy.
As he was walking along, he saw his friend Carlos up
ahead. Carlos was with an even bigger, uglier woman
than he was with. When he approached Carlos he
asked him what was going on, and Carlos replied, "I
cheated on my income taxes and scammed the
government out of a lot of money...even more then you
did." They both shook their heads in understanding
and figured that as long as they have to be with these
women, they might as well hang out together to help
pass the time.
Now Tony, Carlos, and their two beastly women were walking along, minding their own business
when Tony and Carlos could have sworn that they saw their friend Jon up ahead, only this man was
with an absolutely drop dead gorgeous supermodel / centerfold. Stunned, Tony and Carlos
approached the man and in fact it was their friend Jon. They asked him how is he with this
unbelievable goddess, while they were stuck with these god-awful women.
Jon replied, "I have no idea, and I'm definitely not complaining. This has been absolutely the best
time of my life (and I'm dead,) and I have five years of the best sex any man could hope for to look
forward to. There is only one thing that I can't seem to understand. After everytime we have sex, she
rolls over and murmur's to herself, "Damn income taxes!"
/67705. ?7,+0;065
A married couple was on holiday in Pakistan. They
were touring around the marketplace looking at the
goods and such, when they passed a small sandal
shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with a
Pakistani accent say, "You foreigners Come in. Come
into my humbleshop." So the married couple walked
in.
The Pakistani man said to them, "I have some special
sandals 1 think you'd be interested in. They make you
wild at sex like a great desert camel."
Well, the wife was really interested in buying the
sandals after what the man had claimed, but her
husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex
hero he was. The husband asked the man, "how could
sandals make you into a sex freak?"
The Pakistani man replied, "Why don't you try them on
and see for yourself?" Well, the husband, after much
badgering from his wife, finally conceded to try them
on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got
this wild look in his eyes; something his wife hadn't seen in many years -- raw sexual power.
In a blink of an eye, the husband rushed the Pakistani man, threw him on the table and started
tearing at the guy's pants.
All the time the Pakistani man was screaming, "YOU HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET YOU
HAVE THEM ON THE WRONG FEET"
